Monday, February 21, 2011


I am sitting here contemplating as to how I am where I am now. The road I took was quite hard, but not uniquely so. Everyone goes through some form of trials and tribulation to get to where they are. Though I view myself unique in the grand scheme I am one of many who have done it "my" way. In all the world in all the times someone had gone and taken the road I did to get to the here and now, my only saving grace is that I who am here took it as me. It is irrelevant to think that this path wasn't my own when no one can be me. No one think exactly like me, looks like me, acts like me, and is where I am.

I try not to think about how hard it was, how lazy I was, or how much my self made luck carried me. I find it pointless at times to try to understand the reasoning, yet I still put myself out to pine over the details. I am a man who stubernly races forward, but always looks to his rear view mirror at what I left behind.

The worst thing is I can never seem to feel accomplished, I always push for more and try for better, almost destructively. I do my best not to put up fronts simply because it would hinder my path forward. I've have done things that I should regret, but I can't because they've already happened . It's not like I positively learn from those I just erase them outwardly and leave the blemish inside.

Sometime I just need to vent a little.